My cousin “Ann” was 98 years old when she died in New York in April 2020. She had no children and was very special to me. I visited her periodically and spoke to her almost every day. She appointed me executor. I was to inherit her property.
I have a document that states that the court felt that Ann needed someone to supervise the $300,000 in her bank accounts. “Sam”, a friend of Ann’s, told the court that she would do so. I was told at the bank that Sam may have limited access to Ann’s funds to pay bills, etc.
I often checked his checkbook and invoices to make sure there were no overcharges or unusual amounts taken out. Sam was kind to her and she liked the attention he gave her. Ann needed help: she went to school until the seventh grade and made a living by sewing.
Bank accounts emptied
I let Sam stay at Ann’s house, since the coronavirus was in full bloom, so he could continue paying bills, etc. Sam was very kind and even helped me get around the subway on a few occasions. I was not appointed as trustee for Ann’s estate until August 2022 and did not receive the official “letters testamentary” until August 1, 2023.
That’s when I discovered that his savings and checking accounts were closed. Sam’s two nephews appear to have had access to the funds and his $300,000 annuity. I was never told that Sam was added as a co-owner. I knew Sam had the ability to write checks.
I would have thought Sam had a fiduciary responsibility to Ann. I asked the bank to send me the account documents, but they refused. The attorney handling the estate has submitted a request to the court for these documents.
Escape from a previous scammer
The succession is not over. I’m putting together all the expenses I’ve incurred in the past trying to manage this thing. I had to be “bonded out” to make sure I did my duties according to the law for three years, hire a lawyer, clean up the property, and so on. Furthermore, many repairs were needed before putting it on the market.
Ann was also financially defrauded by a woman, “Mary”, over the course of 10 years. It took almost four years in civil court to prove the fraud and remove this scammer from Ann’s property title. Mary was also given a $200,000 judgment, which was never paid.
Mary invested the funds in her son’s name. Given Ann’s advanced age, I told her I wouldn’t go after Mary for her money. Mary lived with her son. Her husband had property in Pennsylvania but was not complicit in the scammer’s action. I felt he should have answered to a higher court.
By the way, it was the scammer, Mary, who introduced Sam to Ann.
A loyal and devoted cousin
“The role Sam played in your cousin’s life also seems murky at best.”
MarketWatch illustration
Related: My elderly father is losing his cognitive abilities. I fear my 4 brothers will take over his $300,000 bank account and move into his house when he dies
Dear Faithful,
Sam, according to you, was a friend of your cousin and Mary was a con artist. But they have more than one thing in common.
Under their watch some money went missing, they both befriended your elderly cousin in her later years, took an interest in her financial affairs, became somewhat indispensable, ingratiated themselves, and most importantly, they even knew each other. When you got rid of one of these bad actors, the other appeared offering advice, friendship and even assistance on the New York subway.
You kindly, and perhaps naively, blame the $200,000 loss on Sam’s watch on his two nephews, who you think must have had access to your cousin’s account. There’s a reason he was in the right place at the right time, and there’s a reason he volunteered to supervise your cousin’s accounts. These were both red flags, as were the circumstances under which he had entered Ann’s life.
The role Sam played in your cousin’s life also seems murky at best, both in terms of official position and intentions. Someone with a financial power of attorney has a fiduciary duty, which states that he or she does not have to act in his or her own self-interest and should maintain legal responsibility to act in a trustworthy manner. But it’s unclear whether Sam had power of attorney or whether he was simply a “friend.”
Statute of limitations
Each state has different statutes of limitations regarding certain types of fraud and elder abuse. In New York, the plaintiff has six years to file a lawsuit, but an attorney would be in the best position to advise you on this matter. The burden of proof is on you, and you will need to provide a paper trail to build your case. Since both your cousin and the money are gone, it will be a tough battle.
Becoming an executor and/or having a power of attorney is a lot of work, perhaps too much for one person. But the latter has a lot of power in making financial and medical decisions. “The best choice is someone you trust. Integrity, not financial acumen, is often the most important characteristic of a potential agent,” according to the American Bar Association.
Generally, if you suspect someone has been subjected to elder abuse – emotional, physical, psychological, or financial – you should report it to Adult Protective Services. You can also call 911 or report them to local law enforcement or the district attorney’s office. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau has more information on how to report financial elder abuse.
It’s a big problem. The National Center on Elder Abuse, a government agency affiliated with the U.S. Administration on Aging, reports that research on elder abuse lags research in the fields of child abuse and domestic violence by as much as two decades. One in 10 people over the age of 60 in the United States are said to have experienced some form of abuse in the previous year.
Signs of elder abuse
Financial signs of elder abuse include fraudulent signatures on documents, overdue bills, and “unusual or sudden changes in spending patterns, wills, or other financial documents,” according to the nonprofit National Council on Aging. Caretakers, friends and family are among the most common perpetrators. Such crimes cost seniors up to $28 billion a year, although official estimates may not truly reflect the true cost.
“Isolation is a wake-up call, and many studies on elder abuse state that lack of a good support system and physical and psychological isolation are hallmarks of the problem,” according to the National Adult Protective Services Association. But it can also happen in plain sight. The more people who keep tabs on an elderly relative and her financial accounts, the better.
Your cousin died believing someone cared about her, and she had you in her life. I hope that this fact, in addition to the memories you have with her, especially in those last months, are a small consolation for you so many years after her death. Your story can also help other people with elderly relatives who are surrounded by new or old friends who suddenly offer their help and help them recognize the signs of financial elder abuse.
Sometimes, such unsavory characters arrive without warning shrouded in a veil of mystery, like Mary. Other times, like Sam, they come with a smile.
You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions at qfottrell@marketwatch.com and follow Quentin Fottrell on X, the platform formerly known as Twitter.
The Moneyist regrets that it cannot answer questions individually.
Previous articles by Quentin Fottrell:
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My estate is worth millions of dollars. How can I stop my daughters’ husbands from getting their hands on it?
‘It was a mistake’: My father set up a revocable trust, leaving everything to my stepmother. He is shutting me out completely. What can I do?
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