Unfortunately he passed away suddenly last September. He was battling a terminal illness. He was immunocompromised and a double whammy of pneumonia and COVID-19 was just too much. My stepmother said that if I claimed a share of their house, I would be responsible for half of the utilities, property taxes, and general maintenance.
Here’s where things get complicated: My father didn’t have a will. I know I am entitled to at least a portion of my father’s personal and marital assets. My uncle shared his interpretation of the law with my stepmother, who asked me what I thought. I told her to hire a lawyer to make sense of it all, because I only know what I can see online and I’m no expert.
Yesterday he contacted me to let me know that he had made a will and that I would receive a quarter of his estate, while his three children would receive the other three quarters. As she said, “This is what your father would have wanted.” She then informed me that her lawyer was sending me a letter in which she would waive my rights to my father’s estate.
“We’re not close”
I never agreed to sign anything and I don’t even know the full value of my father’s estate. She immediately moved on to a new topic and I didn’t feel comfortable pursuing the topic without further research to understand my rights. I don’t like to cause a stir and am generally the type to give up just to keep the peace.
How can I ensure that my stepmother receives financial assistance without completely giving up my rights to my father’s estate? She lives on the other side of the country and I will honestly never see her or her children again. We’re not close and this isn’t “The Brady Bunch.” We have never been a blended family. I told her to talk to a lawyer.
My stepmother is in her 60s. She may remarry and fall victim to scammers, or even fall under the influence of family members who want to take advantage of her. I don’t feel comfortable giving up my rights and crossing my fingers that everything will work out when she leaves. This is not the first death in my family, and it won’t be the last.
Death and money bring out the worst in people. Do you have any suggestions on how to handle this situation gracefully?
The stepson
“Either he is wrong or he is deliberately spreading a lie that you would be responsible for half the housing costs if you claimed a share of the house.”
MarketWatch illustration
Dear stepson,
The only way to handle the situation gracefully is to make sure you are both playing by the rules – abiding by Texas intestate property laws.
Your stepmother has certainly demonstrated that she is incapable of handling the situation gracefully. By insisting that you sign a letter relinquishing your rights to your father’s property, she is attempting to take advantage of your good nature. You are your father’s only son and she doesn’t know what she would have wanted. Her stunt provides an estate planning lesson for all of us: Sign a will to prevent these kinds of eleventh-hour shenanigans.
Do not sign the letter from your stepmother’s lawyer. If she intended to divide your father’s estate fairly and equitably, he would do it now and would not ask you to sign away your rights. As you say, wills can be changed – and if I were a betting man, I’d bet that she won’t write such a will, or will write one to show you leverage and change it immediately. If this doesn’t work, expect emotional blackmail to increase.
Your stepmother doesn’t believe it’s her responsibility to take care of you financially. On the contrary, she seems to believe that it is her responsibility to deprive you of your inheritance, and she can only do so with your cooperation. Likewise, it is not your responsibility to take care of your stepmother. She seems more than capable of doing it herself. Also, as you say, she has her kids.
Texas Property Law
My guess is that your stepmother is well aware of probate laws in Texas. Since your father died intestate and had a child from a previous marriage, his second wife would keep half of their joint property and one-third of your father’s separate property. You would inherit half of your father’s joint property and two-thirds of his separate property.
Separate property is anything that was acquired before the marriage, as well as gifts or inheritances acquired during the marriage. In Texas there is a twist: According to Article XVI, Section 52 of the Texas Constitution, your stepmother has the right to live in the home she shared with her husband for the rest of her life, but ownership of the property will be divided in accordance with the succession law upon his death.
“Inheritance laws apply only to assets that would normally pass through a will,” according to the law firm Roman & Sumner, based in Sugar Land, Texas. They do not apply to proceeds from life insurance, retirement fund accounts such as IRAs and 401(k)s, property held in joint tenancy with third parties, property in a living trust, or accounts payable on death. “This type of ownership passes to named beneficiaries or surviving co-owners,” the company adds.
Speaking of potential scammers, your stepmother seems willing to fill that role. Either she is wrong or she is deliberately spreading a lie that you would be responsible for half the housing costs if you claimed a share of the house. If she continues to live in the home she shared with your father, she would be responsible for maintenance, utilities, insurance and property taxes. As a “remainderman,” you are not responsible for these costs during her lifetime.
You can handle the situation gracefully by hiring an attorney and petitioning the court to appoint an administrator for your father’s estate.
You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions at qfottrell@marketwatch.com and follow Quentin Fottrell on X, the platform formerly known as Twitter.
The Moneyist regrets that it cannot answer questions individually.
Previous articles by Quentin Fottrell:
“I don’t want my wife to lose everything”: I was diagnosed with dementia – suddenly I couldn’t write legibly
‘Things haven’t been easy’: My sister is a hoarder and procrastinator. You are delaying the succession of our parents’ estate. What can I do?
“I Gave Up a Job I Loved Passionately”: My husband secretly created a trust that includes our home and his investments. What should I do?
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