My income tax is due in a few weeks!
I hate it.
I’m pretty good at math, but I don’t prepare taxes anymore. Only the shape scares me.
I feel like I need to hire an accountant, because Congress, continually lapping up various interest groups, keeps adding tax codes. Now even accountants and tax experts barely understand it.
I can get a deduction for feeding feral cats but not for having a guard dog.
I can deduct clarinet lessons if I have an orthodontist say it will cure my overbite, but not piano lessons if a psychotherapist prescribes them for relaxation.
Exotic dancers may devalue breast implants.
Even though whaling is mostly banned, owning a whaling boat can get you $10,000 in deductions.
And so on.
Stop! I have a life! I don’t want to spend my time learning these things.
It’s no wonder that most Americans pay for some form of care. We pay a lot: about $104 billion a year. We waste 2 billion hours filling out stupid forms.
This may not even be the worst part of the tax code.
We tailor our lives to suit the whims of politicians. They manipulate us with tax rules. Deductions on millionaire mortgages invite us to buy larger houses. Solar tax credits led me to put panels on the roof.
“These incentives are a good thing,” politicians say. “High taxes alone also encourage charitable giving.
But “Americans don’t need to be bribed to donate,” says Steve Forbes in one of my videos. “In the 1980s, when the top tax rate was reduced from 70% to 28%…charitable giving declined on. When people have more, they give more.”
Right. When the government lets us live our lives, good things happen.
But politicians want it Moreover check.
The American colonists started a revolution, partly because of taxes. They raided British ships and dumped their tea in Boston Harbor to protest a tax of “three pence per pound.” But once those “don’t tax me!” the colonists became politicians and also raised taxes. First, they taxed things they thought were bad, like snuff and whiskey.
Alexander Hamilton’s whiskey tax led to violent protests.
Now Americans meekly accept (for the most part) new and much higher taxes.
We all suffer because politicians have turned income taxes into a manipulative labyrinth.
We waste time and money and do things we wouldn’t normally do.
Since I criticize the government, I assume that some IRS agent would like to persecute me.
So, cowering in fear, I hire an accountant and tell her, “Megan, don’t be aggressive. Just skip any questionable deductions, even if it means I’ll pay more.”
I like having an accountant, but I don’t like it having have one. I’m sorry to have to pay Megan.
I once calculated what I could buy with the money I pay her. I could buy myself a brand new motorcycle. I could take a cruise ship to Italy and back every year.
Better yet, I could give my money to charity and maybe do some good in the world. For the same amount I spend on Megan, I could pay for four children’s tuition at a private school funded by SSPNYC.org.
Or I could invest. I could help grow a company that creates a fun product, cures cancer, or creates wealth in a hundred ways.
But I can not. I have to pay Megan.
What a waste.
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