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Mental health affects all of us. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), 1 in 5 adults suffer from a mental illness each year. Both NAMI and Forbes Health cite suicide as the second leading cause of death only in adolescents ages 10 to 14. The CDC reported a 2.4% increase in the number of adults receiving mental health treatment between 2019 and 2021. There is no doubt that poor mental health affects our ability to thrive in our relationships, a home, at work and at school.
Mental health can be a difficult thing to manage. Nine years ago I decided I wanted to learn more and hired a licensed therapist (who I still see weekly). After nearly a decade of attention, I have found that the following five practices dramatically improve our mental and emotional well-being. I discuss these practices with my clients daily and literally everyone reports positive effects from their practice.
Related article: We need a real commitment to mental health at work. Here’s how (and why).
1. Identify and then prioritize the things that matter most You
It’s easy to get overwhelmed by the demands of others and forget about ourselves. Determine what activities, hobbies, events, and jobs you love most and prioritize those things. Mental well-being often seems to disappear when we don’t make time for the things that stimulate us. It doesn’t matter whether it’s learning to play football, painting or playing the guitar. Find out what you enjoy doing and regularly spend time doing it. Have dreams and articulate them.
If you have always wanted to learn to speak a foreign language or write a book, I advise you not to lose sight of it. For some, these goals are forgotten once we have children or begin to age. I recognize that it is difficult to juggle and balance the demands of a family or career with your own needs and interests, but it is not impossible. It all starts with your belief that it is possible to achieve it and the commitment to do it, no matter what. To get started, create a vision board or mission statement and post it where you can see it. This helps us remember the things that matter most.
2. Establish and enforce boundaries
Don’t be afraid to say no. Some of us were raised to please people and feel obligated to “do it all.” This thinking is misleading. Every time we say yes to one thing, we automatically say no to something else. If that “something else” is always yourself, you probably don’t care about your mental health. In my experience, this will get to you. Unhappy, frustrated, and exhausted individuals spend an enormous amount of time doing things for others and not enough time doing things for themselves. Find out what you really want to do and what you don’t. Then, articulate it confidently and without guilt.
As Stephen Covey said, “It’s easier to say no when we have a bigger yes in mind.” When you know what matters most (to you), you’ll find it easier to create (and protect) space for it. To get started, give the things you want most to accomplish a place to live and breathe on your calendar. Use Outlook or another calendar to schedule time for your top priorities – this will help you say no when a last-minute conflict arises.
Related: Entrepreneurs are scheduling their days to the minute for maximum success
3. Honor and validate your emotions
Many of us like to be right. Understandable; It’s nice to know things and be correct. However, sometimes our desire to be right prevents us from actually doing what is right. It is not uncommon to gaslight others. People often invalidate the experiences, beliefs, and emotions of others simply because they don’t reflect their own. Learn to recognize that you cannot control how often this happens to you, but to you Candies check your answer. Make a point to connect with yourself regularly and truly understand your feelings. Once you know what they are, trust them and listen to them. Don’t allow yourself to be dissuaded by them.
Getting advice and mentorship from someone you care deeply about (who also has your best interests at heart) is one thing. Being impressed by someone who feels threatened by your success or who feels uncomfortable about a difference of opinion is another thing entirely. If you choose to be influenced or persuaded, make sure it’s for the right reason. To start, regularly journal or talk to a therapist (or coach) about how you’re feeling. This helps you connect with yourself and be aware of what you are really experiencing.
4. Celebrate every step of your journey
When it comes to pursuing big goals, the road is long. It can be easy to get discouraged. Remember to celebrate your efforts along the way, not just at the end. Take time to recognize what you’ve done well and choose to be proud of yourself. Instead of focusing on perfection, focus on progress. Are you wiser, stronger and more courageous than you were a few months ago? And a year ago? If the answer is yes, make sure you choose to feel good about yourself and where you are, even if you’re not quite done yet. To get started, keep a gratitude journal or list of your accomplishments. Catalog specific things that work well. If you do this consistently, you will rewire your tendency to see the negative or engage in any type of negative self-talk. Instead, you will notice many more positive aspects. And this is beautiful.
Related: 3 Reasons to Celebrate Small Victories in Your Business
5. Only date people who support your mental health
Who we surround ourselves with matters. Many people who struggle with their mental well-being associate with others who actively seek to undermine them. Ultimately, we tend to adopt the beliefs, values, and mindsets of those we see the most. If you hang around negative people who complain, you will develop a tendency to do the same thing. If you hang out with spiteful people who love to gossip, you will also develop a tendency to judge.
It has been said that “Two things keep us from being happy: living in the past and observing others.” If we care about our mental well-being, it’s important to surround ourselves with like-minded people. Spend time with others who have goals, pursue their purpose with passion, set and enforce boundaries, and will respect you if you do the same. To get started, take inventory of the people you spend your time with. How do you feel when you are around them? Do they support and encourage you? Do they support your goals? If not, limit your interactions with them and replace that time with these other activities.
Most of us face a tremendous amount of external pressure from our bosses, families, and even friends. It can be extremely difficult to prioritize ourselves and our well-being over the demands of others, but we must do it. As difficult as it is to show up for ourselves, practicing these five principles regularly will make it easier.