SNL debunked Trump’s Bible scam and pandered to Christianity just in time for Easter.
SNL Trump said:
It’s Easter, the time of year when I compare myself to Jesus. It’s just something I do now, and people seem to be okay with it. I will continue to do so. If you think this is a bad look, imagine how weird it would be if I started selling Bibles. Well, I sell Bibles. Look at this beautiful Bible made from 100% Bible. It sounds like a joke, and in many ways it is, but it’s also a lot. As you know, I love the Bible. It’s my favorite book. I definitely read it.
My favorite part is probably the ending, how everything wraps up. But this is a very special Bible. And it can be yours for the hefty price of $60. But I don’t do it for the money. I do it for the glory of God, to please and above all for money. But it’s so sad. Religion and Christianity have completely disappeared from this country and we need to get them back.
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Without religion there are no laws, there are no mission trips. I’ve been told that mission trips are a lot of fun. Go to Mexico, build a house, maybe make out with someone on the last night. Then it’s back to Clearwater, Florida, as if it never happened. But you will love my new and even better Bible. It has everything you like about the Bible, like the Easter story, which is mostly about Jesus, not so much about the bunny. The rabbit never showed up. All right. Now, my Bible also includes some beautiful illustrations like Moses floating down the river in the basket, and uh-oh, look out, here’s Trump in the basket. Right behind Moses who is about to pass on the left. And here I am in the Garden of Eden with my real body. You know, I think I would be very good at saying no to the snake from the perspective of not liking fruit. And here’s Noah’s Ark, all the animals are on the ark of There’s me yelling at Noah, hey man, you forgot the raccoon.
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However, it is the eve of Easter, so let’s bow our heads – I won’t – and say the Our Father, which we all know very well, especially me. Our Father who art in heaven, sanctified beep beep, bing bing, bing bing bong, bing bong, bing bing bing, transgression, daily bread, and please lead us into temptation and pay for our cars. In the name of the father, the son and the Easter Bunny, amen.
Video:
It’s all a scam. Everyone knows it’s a scam. Even evangelical Christians who support Trump know they are playing a scam. The reality is that they don’t care. Their “religious values” mean nothing to them. They want to appease a president who bans abortion and treats them like just another constituency.
Trump is a joke, but Republicans keep nominating him because he won that time, and they want so badly to believe they can win again and get the extremist policies they want.
The best thing Donald Trump did for the country was to expose the fraud of evangelical right through his behavior.
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