Most women say they are afraid of getting old. These fears aren’t just about death or age-related illnesses: With the idealization of youth, many women worry about what aging means for their mental health, career and personal life, according to a recent survey by Luvly, a facial yoga center, skin care and wellness platform.
The fears are not new, though, as women, in particular, have been the target of society’s long-standing obsession with the appearance of older people.
“There’s a much higher bar for women to appear younger,” Heather Tinsley-Fix, senior advisor for employee engagement at AARP, previously said. Fortune.
In the survey of approximately 2,000 women aged 30 and over, 12% fear that aging will lead to abandonment of society, and 11% fear that it will lead to loneliness and isolation. Over half, 66%, of women believe dating is more difficult as they age. One in 10 women find dating impossible and one in four have turned down a social invitation because of their age.
The findings echo past research illustrating pervasive age discrimination in the workplace. This survey found that one in six women have faced age-related issues at work, such as being denied a promotion or job. All of these factors impact overall well-being, as 41% of women say aging affects their mental health, while some say it contributes to anxiety or depression.
“For many, the fear of growing old comes from the thought of being excluded from society and left alone,” says Marina Klimenka, co-founder of Luvly. “It’s not up to women to learn to ignore their insecurities. It is up to society to remove the problems that cause them.
Changing the narrative about the golden years
Conflicting narratives about age in the workplace should come from the top, such as offering flexible work policies for seniors as caregiving benefits and providing age-inclusive training for hiring managers, Klimenka says. As more people delay retirement, companies need to foster an age-inclusive environment that values experienced workers’ wisdom, problem-solving skills and mentoring ability, workplace experts say Fortune.
“The reality is that you don’t suddenly lose the ability to function the day you turn 50,” says Klimenka. “Many [women] they continue to work in later years and offer as much as their younger colleagues, if not more. If we could get rid of these prejudices, aging would be much less worrying for many women.”
Outside of work, it’s also about shifting cultural messages that equate beauty with youth and youth with dignity.
How to embrace aging
There are some signs of positive change in the way we talk about aging.
Contestants flocked to ABC’s grand opening Golden Bachelor to illustrate that dating isn’t just for young people. Actress Julia Louis-Dreyfus, 63, regularly challenges the conventional wisdom that women her age are past their prime. In a podcast series called Wiser than meTHE Seinfeld star talks to celeb women about the unique wisdom they’re gaining in older age, like Jane Fonda’s perspective on how aging isn’t so scary when you’re really in it and feeling happier (she’s 86). In a recent profile in New York TimesLouis-Dreyfus talked about how excited she is about what her golden years will bring her.
“It seems like more and more can be done. I’m excited to try new things work-wise. I’m excited to travel to places and read books I haven’t read,” she said.
As more people embrace the realities of aging, people may become more comfortable introducing themselves to others and staying connected, a critical component of aging well.
“I’m sure the older ones among us have a few more great stories to tell than their friends and family,” Klimenka says. “So embrace it. Share your wisdom and show everyone that getting old isn’t such a bad thing.”
However, the onus is on shifting cultural and systemic attitudes inside and outside the workplace to create a safe environment for aging well.
For more information on fighting ageism: