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I am often asked how a former Human Intelligence (HUMINT) interrogator can help shape me into the business leader I want to be in a field that has nothing to do with investigating the criminal activities of terrorists.
Most of my clients work in human resources, employee relations, sales and finance-related investigations. They are entrepreneurs and business owners, C-Suite executives, coaches and auditors. I left the world of interrogation long ago and still use my HUMINT skills to lead challenging conversations with confidence and authority to accurately identify deception and pursue the truth. Over the past two decades of interviews, I can accurately say that liars exhibit the same deceptive behaviors.
Here are five deceptive behaviors to watch out for and how to handle them when you encounter them.
Related: Use This Secret Military Trick to Tell If Someone Is Lying
1. Inability to answer yes or no
The simplest test to give someone you believe is hiding the truth is to ask them a yes/no question like, “Are you honest with me?” The reason is that truth-tellers typically answer a closed-ended question quickly and concisely with a yes or no, while liars tend to avoid answering.
For example, in the post-trial interview with OJ Simpson in 2016, the reporter asked OJ: “Have you ever had [Bruno Magli shoes]?” OJ paused, took a deep breath, and shrugged as he said, “First of all, I would never have worn those ugly shoes.” He never answered the question. If he had been sincere, he should have answered “no.”
Liars tend to overestimate a yes or no answer because they don’t believe it is convincing enough. As a result, they will usually say “absolutely, always” for yes and “I would never do that” for no. Ask a closed-ended question and then listen to the answer. Is it truthful or deceptive?
2. Missing pronouns “I” and “my”.
Pronouns play an important role in detecting deception. The possessive pronouns “I” and “my” indicate that a person is taking responsibility for what she says. Typically, liars will replace these two pronouns with other pronouns like “you,” “we,” or “they” or avoid them altogether when they don’t want to take ownership of the knowledge or information.
For example, if you ask an employee allegedly involved in an ethics violation, “What happened?” and they say, “We’re trying to figure out what happened.” They may avoid responsibility because they didn’t say, “I am trying to figure out what happened.” Remember Anthony Weiner? When he was lying, he said, “We’re trying to figure out who sent the tweet from my account.” He takes responsibility for his account but NOT for trying to figure out who sent the tweet. tweet because he knew he sent it. A great way to handle this behavior is to ask, “You and who Are you trying to figure it out?”
3. Behavioral inconsistency
Behavioral inconsistency is the most accurate indicator of deception. It happens when our body language contradicts our spoken language. When we are sincere, our words, voice, emotions, facial expressions and gestures are naturally synchronized; when we lie, they are incongruent. Two great examples of behavioral inconsistency that are easy to identify involve shrugs, nods and head shakes.
We will shrug our shoulders in uncertainty when we doubt what we are saying. If someone says, “I know exactly what happened,” and they shrug, you have a problem. They are doubting what they say, and you should too.
In most cultures, nodding your head means “yes” and shaking your head means “no.” If someone says, “I like your idea,” but shakes his head to the side, he might not like it. When you see inconsistent behavior in someone, don’t trust them. Instead, ask them, “Why should I believe you?” A sincere person usually says, “Because I’m telling you the truth.” Any other response should be suspect.
Related: 10 Tell-Tale Phrases That Mean Someone Isn’t Telling the Truth
4. The smoke screen
A smokescreen is a ploy to disguise someone’s real intentions or actions. People will try to avoid answering a question by taking the conversation to a different topic, so you’ll focus on their ruse rather than what actually happened.
Here’s an example: Drew Peterson, a former cop now in prison for killing his third wife while his fourth is still missing, said during an interview with Larry King that his marriage to his fourth wife was going through difficult times because she was medicated for depression after her sister’s death. This is a great disguise to blame their marriage problems on. She also claimed that she ran away with another boy. Yet another cover-up to remove him from the spotlight of the investigations.
When asking questions to find out the truth, if a liar doesn’t want you to know the truth, he or she may try to disguise it and use a smokescreen to draw your attention elsewhere. If you notice someone using a smoke screen, redirect the conversation to the topic at hand!
5. How liars sound (tone, rhythm, breath)
To detect lies, you need to focus on the words people say and how they sound. When most people lie, they become nervous and their vocal cords may tense, raising the pitch of their voice. They will also unconsciously change the speed of their speech. Liars may try to speak faster to avoid being questioned, while others slow down because they have trouble thinking of what to say. They may be so worried that their cognitive abilities are declining, so they will speak more slowly. In any case, in the last 20 years of listening to liars, I will say with certainty that their speaking rate will change when they lie.
Finally, when someone is lying to you, they may start to breathe heavily and you will hear them become panting. Essentially, they are out of breath because their heart rate has increased due to flight or fight. So when you hear a change in the way someone plays, investigate! Ask questions about that specific topic to find out the truth.
These five behaviors are very accurate when deciphering truth and deception. Reading them has increased your awareness of this, so the next time you have a gut feeling that someone is not being honest, ask yourself if they have demonstrated any of these five deceptive behaviors.
Related: The Only Interview Technique That Guarantees You the Truth