Big life changes often go hand in hand with cleaning the house, but that doesn’t mean it’s always the same thing. Downsizing a home for retirement is a different process than decluttering after someone’s death. The way a person clears space for the next chapter should be known as “rightsizing,” one author said.
In her latest book, “ Rightssize Today to Create Your Best Life Tomorrow,” Marni Jameson explores the concept of “rightsizing,” having downsized homes after losing loved ones, going through a divorce and merging families with her husband , who is a widower. . Jameson is also the author of a column, “At Home With Marni Jameson.”
“I got really good at getting rid of things,” she said.
Everyone approaches retirement differently, just as you do when you move from one house to another. Some people think they will stay in their current home by default, or they may feel an emotional attachment to it because of the years they spent raising a family there, Jameson said. But retirees should instead ask themselves if their current home is truly the best place for them in their later years, and if not, where would that perfect place be instead?
Jameson spoke with MarketWatch about “rightsizing” and how to approach this task.
See: Needing more money and not being able to work for long – these are just two things that retirees didn’t expect
MarketWatch: What exactly does “rightsizing” mean to you?
Marni Jameson: I define it as moving or creating a perfect home: physically, emotionally, financially. All these pieces need to click. People don’t take the long view enough. They stay there and do the same thing every day. I think they are missing out on the opportunity to move on and have a better life.
MW: Can you delve deeper into the topic?
Jameson: I think a lot of people deny it and don’t want to think about it. They say it’s too much work to move, and I have to say that this is no reason to live less than your best life. Face what those issues are and dream a little. This is what my book outlines on paper. What would your best life be like? Where is it? What kind of home do you want to be in: a gated condominium or a single family where the grandchildren can come home? On the water, on the golf course? What would you like to do and what stops you?
The four things that stop people are: The first is their stuff. If furniture is standing between you and a better life, think again. Now there are many places, like Facebook Marketplace, Craigslist. There are people you can hire to sell your nicest items. Don’t let this be an obstacle.
People talk about their memories and all the good times. You can have a great time in the house next door and your memories will stay with you. You can take them, so memories are not a good reason to stay in the house you no longer need.
People fear change. Everyone does. Change is coming to you anyway. So, once again, we never know how many days we have on this Earth.
And satisfaction. I’m just lazy. I like to say, don’t let laziness and fear of these things hold you back. I try to break it down one obstacle at a time.
MW: What do people who have been through this process and find themselves on the other side have to say?
Jameson: That’s astonishing: 26% of people who moved in the last five years moved to a new state. Not just in the same state – they moved to a new state. He’s pretty brave. They left behind everything they knew. And 88% of them were happy they did. This is quite affirmative.
I truly believe in course correction. Sometimes change is right, but the change you make is wrong, so you should always be agile and allow yourself the “what if” plan. What if it doesn’t work? So I moved from Colorado to Florida 10 years ago. I said, what if it doesn’t work? I knew I could move back to Colorado. I knew I could make a U-turn. Luckily, Florida liked me and my daughter and it worked out. But just know that you can course-correct.
MW: From your experience, have you found that the processes for getting rid of things change based on the situation, such as after a death, divorce, or simply downsizing for retirement?
Jameson: The thinking and filters are a little different. When you clean my parents’ house, which everyone has to do for their parents, or in-laws, or grandparents, it’s a different process because these are people you loved and who hold things close and because you love them, you have to be the judge of what was important and why. Find out what has value, not financially, but to your family, and what can really be turned into something more useful, like donating a wedding dress to a local theater department. When you have that extra dimension of wanting to respect their life, it becomes harder than dealing with your own stuff.
I got divorced after a 24 year marriage and married someone who was a widower. Going through his things, there were more mines because there were things of his late wife. He didn’t want her ghost to live with us but he also wanted to respect her. I talk about it in another book. What to keep and what to let go changes with circumstances and life stages.
MW: Are there any steps a person can take now to correct the size?
Jameson: This is not a unique fact. Correct sizing is a way of life. You can’t just get your house in order and then expect it to stay that way, because things are always coming up and life is always changing. So you need a mindset about what you want to have around you. I think that’s something you have to consider all the time. No more continually trimming your garage or kitchen cabinets.
I like having a trial separation: it makes it less painful. Put a bag in the garage and closet and put the things that are on edge there. I see what it’s like to live without them, and when it’s full, I take another look and then take it to Goodwill. It’s a little less final and more transitory and helps people get over the breakup. Most of us will find that the fewer items we have, the fewer things we have to maintain and keep in order and we can get around more easily with less. It’s a life style.
This interview has been edited for clarity and length.