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A thriving business requires a good balance between strategy, commitment and dedication. Having a great idea and putting in the work is no longer enough. To stay relevant, we need to know how to keep up with the pace of the changing business landscape. Otherwise we risk being left behind or being excluded altogether. This fear of falling behind often leads us to take on too much. We overwhelm ourselves, making it difficult to keep our commitments. Before we know it, we are lost in the shuffle, struggling to keep up with our goals. Ironically, our desire for success can sometimes be our greatest obstacle. Instead of facing our challenges, we end up taking a few steps backwards. Why are we sabotaging our success?
Honestly, no matter how hard we try to manage everything, there will always be things that slip through the cracks. This means that we will not always be able to provide results 100% of the time. In times like these, responsibility is the best weapon at our disposal. It’s what keeps us on track and ensures we’re constantly moving forward. However, it’s also the one thing we often struggle with the most. Even when we want to be responsible, it doesn’t seem to happen. What’s stopping us? Why is accountability such a big challenge for many of us? What is the real reason we struggle with it?
Related: Four Ways to Hold Yourself Accountable for Success
The one guilty
Being accountable is hard, but the real reason we struggle may be simpler than you think. It’s not because we’re lazy or bad at managing our time. Our lack of responsibility stems from a failure to understand our basic human nature. If you take a look at what we are hardwired to do, you will find that we naturally avoid things that are difficult or uncomfortable. Our brain is programmed to seek pleasure rather than pain. And being responsible isn’t comfortable, so naturally, our mind creates a barrier between us and responsibility. This barrier is often referred to as our ego.
Our ego acts as a defense mechanism creating a comforting illusion of control and competence in our lives. It’s our mind’s way of protecting us from the harsh reality of our shortcomings. Whether we are aware of it or not, it creates resistance that affects how we approach our commitments. When we face challenges or risk not meeting expectations, our ego interferes to protect our self-esteem. As a result, we cling to excuses and justify our every inconvenience. This desire to protect our self-image leads us to repeat the same avoidant behavior until it becomes a habit. Relying on our ego to protect us at all times affects how we run our business.
In research by Yin et al., published in the January 2022 issue of Social Psychological and Personality Science, it is shown that powerful individuals or people in key positions tend to blame others instead of taking responsibility. This is because as humans we prefer to point fingers rather than address our problems. We would rather deny it than let others know we are struggling. Let’s be honest, at some point in our lives, we are guilty of playing the blame game just to feel better. However, this cycle of ego-driven behavior only leads to long-term self-sabotage. So, if we are conditioned to avoid discomfort, how can we hold ourselves accountable?
Related: How This Entrepreneur Finally Stopped the Cycle of Self-Sabotage
Overcome the barrier
The good news is that while our ego may keep us from being responsible, that doesn’t mean we are doomed to fail. Once we identify this barrier and understand its impact on our behavior, we can take steps to overcome it. Here are some ways to start breaking down your ego:
Understand what responsibility really means:
One of the biggest misconceptions about accountability is that it equals perfection. Many of us believe that to be responsible we must follow our commitments flawlessly and not make mistakes. Instead of improving ourselves, we end up becoming perfectionists and punishing ourselves at the sight of a mistake. This leads us to associate responsibility with punishment. In the long run, it suffocates us until we no longer have the common sense to separate punishment from responsibility.
This belief couldn’t be further from the truth. We are not gods. In reality, we are bound to make mistakes, and that’s okay. We just need to understand that accountability means we are responsible for our mistakes. It means we can admit our mistakes, learn from them, and commit to doing better next time. With this change in our understanding, we no longer have to beat ourselves up every time we make a mistake. Now we can think more clearly and use it as an opportunity to address problems without being afraid of our mistakes.
Learn to accept discomfort:
Simply knowing what our ego can do is not enough to be responsible. We must be able to embrace the discomfort and allow our ego to take a backseat. For this to happen, big changes are needed. However, making changes is not easy. Not many can abandon their beliefs and embrace the changes that come with responsibility. Without the will to change, it will be difficult to commit and become responsible. This usually happens because we have conflicting desires within us: one that pushes us to improve and one that pushes us towards comfort. This creates conflict in our minds, making it difficult to take coherent action. If we truly want to move forward, we must resolve this internal conflict and accept that discomfort is part of our journey to becoming responsible. But how can we do it? What makes accountability uncomfortable in the first place?
Accountability works like a mirror. It reflects everything, including the things we don’t want to see. It shows us not only the good parts but also the flaws and imperfections. Noticing our mistakes shows the difference between what we say we can do and what we actually can do. This realization can be uncomfortable, as it often triggers our desire to avoid shame and guilt. However, we must understand that these emotions are not enemies but indicators of our commitment to success and personal growth.
We shouldn’t feel uncomfortable and we should learn to accept it. Acceptance does not guarantee an easy path, but it gives meaning to every difficult step taken towards growth. So the next time you feel uncomfortable with responsibility, try embracing it instead of pushing it away. It’s a sign that you’re making progress towards becoming a more responsible person.
Trust the right people:
Let me tell you a simple fact: no one can be responsible alone. While commitment can be an individual effort, becoming accountable requires support from the right people. Just as a tree needs strong roots to grow, we need a strong network of individuals willing to hold us accountable. These people cannot be just any people, because our responsibility also depends on who holds us responsible.
When it comes to selecting people to surround yourself with, it’s crucial to choose people who are not only confident but also have big visions for the future. Safe people provide a stable, supportive environment where vulnerability is not only accepted but encouraged. This safe space is critical to promoting accountability, as it allows us to openly share our challenges and failures without fear of judgment.
Related: Here’s how finding the right accountability partner will help you achieve your goals
Additionally, surrounding ourselves with visionaries who dream big and aim high inspires us to raise our aspirations and reach beyond our comfort zones. These people represent living proof that great things are possible, pushing us to pursue our goals with renewed vigor and dedication.
And most importantly, you need a person who is willing to tell you what you need to hear and not what you want to hear, a person who can hold you accountable for your actions and decisions, no matter how uncomfortable it may be. Because without someone to keep us in check, we could easily fall back into our old habits and continue to let our ego dictate our behavior.
True accountability is not a corporate initiative that can be pushed forward from the boardroom. It is a deeply personal commitment to take responsibility for every aspect of our lives. It’s actually easier to avoid taking responsibility and continue living in the bed of our excuses. However, ultimately, making a conscious effort to choose responsibility is the same as choosing yourself. It means being true to your word and taking responsibility for your growth.
So don’t let your ego hold you back. Accept the challenge and create your ideal results through accountability. After all, there is no greater reward than taking back control of your life and achieving success on your own terms. So go ahead, take the first step towards responsibility and watch your life transform for the better.